While working at the new job, one of the transitional guys asked what I did at the sober living. I was kinda at a loss for words. Luckily one of my crew was there so I asked him to explain what I do. His response floored me…

“Jon does everything, makes sure the house is in order, enforces rules and is available to us all the time.” That was pretty much all I was expecting to hear, especially since this particular guy has only been in the house for a month. He then went on to say. “Anytime you need someone to ask about life, sobriety, faith…he’s who we turn too. Your sponsor deals strictly with recovery but Jon takes care of us. He is more than just the guy who runs the house, he is the one who offers hope and truly loves us”

Honestly I feel that I haven’t been as effective of late. A little later I pulled him aside and asked him how its possible to see that in me considering i’ve been going through a lot recently. Once again he left my jaw dropping…

”Oh we all know that you are struggling with some personal stuff. I’ve seen you around even before I moved in and yeah you don’t laugh and smile as much but regardless of what you are dealing with you sit and talk to any of use that need help. You put aside your problems and offer your experience, strength and hope. Ive never seen someone deal with so many different people and show love to all of us.”

I would love to take credit but I cant. On the inside I am hurting, like someone took my heart out and put it in a blender. The last three days emotionally void and unable to feel. What shocked me the most was this guy said he saw me exhibiting all those things yesterday while talking to someone. How is that possible? God.

There are so many things that I don’t do right, areas of my life that are in desperate need of revival and transformation. What these guys are seeing isn’t me. The wisdom, love, compassion and care that they witness is totally Christ.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.(Matthew 5:16)

What I learned from all this is that on my own I am still an idiot. The only way that transformation can happen is through Christ. Through all that has happened, I have not lost my faith and still trust that He is in control. I know that He has something/someone amazing for me and all I have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. Despite my inadequacies…God is still using me. Pretty cool.