I realize that during the Christmas season a lot of parents struggle with their child who is battling addiction. Every year while working in the field sheds light into the pain, frustration and questions that loved ones deal with. While im far from perfect my hope for the guys I work with is that one day they can truly have the mentality that they own their problems and stop blaming others. Here is something that I sent my parents tonight. Maybe if a loved one read this entry it can give them some hope that one day their fractured relationship can be mended in the future…
Archive for the ‘For Family and Friends’ Category
December25
Taking Responsibility
October13
Faith Goes A Long Way
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2 They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. 4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” 6 Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, 7 “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
8 Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? 9 Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? 10 But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, 11 “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” 12 He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!” (Mark 2:1-12)
January5
Updated Prayer List
Here is an updated prayer list. If you would like to add a loved on….let me know. While talking with family members and friends of those in recovery, many times I am asked “What can I do? How can I help?” The answer is always the same, pray. Pray without ceasing and have faith that through it all, God is in control.
I’ve been having weekly discussion with a friend who works as a therapist for almost 2 months. As one of the lead instructors at my martial arts school we would talk about a variety of stuff; work, church, girls, etc. Originally he said no way to doing psycho babble on me. I guess he kind of forgot because in an indirect way….hes been my shrink. Not in the typical office setting rather at a local restaurant after class.
Early tomorrow morning I will be sharing my story at the Honolulu Prayer Breakfast. Please keep my in your prayers that God works through me and allows me to share some hope. That being said, with everything that has been going on has taken a toll me the last 4 days. Its been really hard but I am so grateful for all the support I have received. Thank you.
Instead of forcing out an entry I wanted to share a letter I wrote 4 months ago. A close friend of mine has just told me that she had a problem with drinking and started to snort cocaine. We share a lot in common concerning family trials, upbringing etc. As you will see through the letter….I care about her deeply.
Dear ______
I think the shock of everything wore off. The fury, desolation and frustration has finally dissipated to the point that I can honestly write a letter without basing it purely on emotion. Instead of giving you any answers, despite the urge to bombard you with solutions…all I am going to do is let you know how special you are to me.
From the day I came back from treatment, you’ve always been someone who accepted me for who I am and didn’t care who I was. Sadly I’ve been judging you based on outside opinions and neglected to remember that you never did that with me. For that I am sorry.
You mean the world to me. I wanted to protect you from all the crap that I went through. Maybe I was over protective, maybe I pampered you too much, maybe I said something that pushed you over the edge, maybe….im done asking the maybes and want to let you know that I tried to do everything in love.
I love the way that you can light up the room with your smile. I love that you can forgive me when I can be a jerk. I love that when push comes to shove you’re there for me. I love you for being my lil sunshine. I love the fact that you appreciate great music. I love how God placed a real little pain in the ass in my life named _____.
To quote one of my favorite songs. “Everything so blurry, everyone so fake, everybody’s so empty, everything is so messed up.” If that is how you are feeling right about now…I understand more than you can ever imagine. With every fiber in my body I wish that I could make everything better; take away the pain, sadness, frustration, disappointment, uncertainty, anger and regrets.
For the first time I felt hopeless since I got sober. Seeing you battling your own demons took me back to my own personal hell. It sucked, hurt, made me doubt my faith and I went to a place in my soul that I hadn’t visited in almost 3 years. The outcome? I love and care for you just as much today as I ever did. I realized that all these feelings are ok. Accepting that God is in control, a total relief.. Most importantly for me…saving you is not my job, that can only happen through Christ.
Love,
Jon
In an amazing twist of events, she is doing very well today. No longer using drugs, focusing on getting her mind, body and spirit in proper order. Do I think that my letter made a difference? I dont really know but she called me crying after I wrote it and thanked me for writing it.
Alcoholism/drug addiction sucks but I know that offering words of encouragement and just being available go a loooooong way. If I played a role in her change…all the glory has to go to God.
January9
Lady On The Street
Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:11-13)
Earlier today I was helping out at my family business when a commotion started across the street. When I saw a women lying on the sidewalk with cars around I assumes she was hit by one of them, I was wrong. This lady in her late 50’s was drunk, not a little tipsy but knocked the heck out at 3pm.
Numerous passerby’s attempted to help but what was so apparent…normies dont know what to do with those battling addiction. Some of the people standing around said to let her walk home. Others said lets call a taxi or let her on the bus. A few just shook their heads like they didn’t care what happened. One even commented “she is a drunk, im going to leave because I dont want to be part of a scene.”
At least 10 people stopped to offer assistance but when they realized that she was an alcoholic, none stayed. Not even the 2 nurses who rushed to help when they thought it was an accident but quickly departed when they realized the situation. One guy said he called 911 but after waiting for 15 minutes I realized he didn’t and called requesting assistance.
Why did I stay until the ambulance came? Because the women looked up at me and said “help me.” Everytime she tried to get up, she fell down. When she heard that 911 was called, she FREAKED out and started flailing her arms around like she was having a seizure. Eventually the fear turned to crying, I can still picture her saying “help me” with tears rolling down her face.
The Fire Department arrived first and with a look of disgust just went about doing their job. Eventually the EMT’s got there and eventually took her to the hospital. Is the world so heartless and cold that they turn a cold shoulder to someone fighting a horrible disease? Why is alcoholism looked upon any differently than someone battling kidney failure? For some alcoholics its genetic, some its a mental disorder and for others it will kill them.
I understand that it is a lack of knowledge that causes people to judge those with alcohol problems. We are no different than anyone. Yes, we have made choices that put us in a position that enables poor decisions and embarrassing moments, but we are still human. Please be in prayer for the lady who I assisted earlier today. She is up against a horrible problem that without help will eventually take her life.
For those of you who are followers of Christ, please remember that those that are lost are the ones that need to experience Christ like love. The drunks and drug addicts that confuse and scare you are the ones that need compassion and grace. If you know who I am today, dont forget that at one time I was just like that lady on the street.
August13
Thank You..
When I was in treatment, one of the workers got pissed off at us and said all of us were going to relapse. That out of 100…2 stay sober for a year. After that, only 1 out of 100 will make it to year 2. I used those statistics as motivation. It seems that others used it as an excuse to fail.
I bring this up because I want to share on motivation. I have always viewed challenges as a way to test myself. If someone said that I could do something…I would do whatever it took to accomplish it. That drive and determination has helped me overcome all the obstacles that have come my way. In no way do I take the credit, I have had a lot of help along the way.
I want to take the time today to thank all those that have been helpful throughout this journey of my life. It has been a road that without having certain people around me would have never been possible. First, I want to thank my family. It was hard for them to deal with my addictions. Through constant prayer and words of encouragement they have made my life so much more worthwhile. Not only has my immediate family been awesome but all my aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, extended family, etc. have also been really supportive.
Second, I have to say that my staff and customers at ReginaStyle have made this transition so much easier. When I came back home they could have easily had made me an outcast and judged me for my past transgressions. Instead they welcomed me with open arms and made me feel at home. Not many work environments would have made my coming home so enjoyable. The customers are just the greatest people ever. They never looked at me differently and were always kind and understanding. Even though I’m no longer at the shop they continue to ask how I am doing. I really miss the salon.
Third, are my amazing friends. Despite the fact that I was the one who changed, they went out of their way to do “sober fun” activities with me. Whether it be hiking, going to the gym, lunches, dinners, movies…the list could go on an on. It was really a huge sigh of relief when they still included me in all their activities and where constantly looking out for my bet interest.
Last and definitely not least, my church families at Hope Chapel Manaolana and Waialae Baptist Church. It must not have been easy to see someone born and raised in the church go so far down the road to destruction. I was initially hesitant to go back, however, those fears were completely unfounded. Christ-like love was always shown by the members and their prayers are greatly appreciated.
In conclusion, I have been really blessed to be surrounded by so many people that have helped make my life what it is today. I only wish that others struggling with sobriety could be as fortunate as I am. I would like to ask all those that know someone battling addictions…help them as much as others have helped me. This is a battle that, without the help of others, would be impossible to win.
Do not judge…just love them. Do not think you can’t make a difference…every prayer is heard. Do not ever give up…hope is often the last thing someone has. Do not make light of this disease…it’s one that kills every day. You can make a difference in someone’s life. You can help be the light in a very dark world. Most importantly, someone, somewhere can use a helping hand. I did and to those that reached out to help me…Thank You.
July19
Insight from a parent.
I’ve asked my family members to give words of wisdom for the family and friends of those struggling with addiction.
By: Glenn (Jon’s Dad)
Don’t be afraid of the truth (the truth will set you free). I was afraid of the truth that my son was addicted. So every denial and every time he pointed the finger at someone else was a relief. But the truth was that I didn’t want to know. Eventually the truth came out. And by God’s mercy, it wasn’t too late. Sometimes you get what you wish for; be careful for what you wish. If you wish that there is no problem, you probably will get your wish, sort of.
July18
Finding the right words…
car class Finding baseball shirt cat homesick dock friend steadfast urgent life holy treatment fraud love drop mistake brown the truth faith press still searching grace passion services never ending compassion servant milk cookies right sleepy angry tired satisfied words leap year calendar myspace espn reporting uneventful timothy forwarded unable sleepless los angeles monster when loading chairs leggings pillow talk going shopping tennis churros golf brunch country bagels music falafel your house park pastor chicken steak fried moshic flights scarves loved irish flowers water arrangements mailbu pinkberry tableware one expensive fetish repair eveningwear regianstyle semantics hallowed weekend pastor jaclyn ties suits winner is summer fall risk bank claustrophobic television cradle showtime pipeline venus tsunami fashion abusing undying selection satisfying drugs unfortunate computer apple sterile needless happy awesome archangel living room blackberry pinstack diminish or billion million stores scraggly enough unwanted heard versus television transplant rollers elegance alcohol home comfort style rose marlin brave is true prime fish cowboy yankee street ready orioles reservation information power legs envelope easier performance revenge mountain lazy citizen protects extraordinary luxury sumptuous masterful something perfect than bigger account brilliant diamond plunder international you possibilities title destination remixed redefining metro retire mark reach unexpected business think smooth rich hot ice cream coffee starbuck producs
Take a minute out of your day and pray for those that you know are struggling with addiction
Tweets...