Here is my message from this past Sunday. If you’d like a copy, send me an email and we can figure out a way to get you a CD. I should probably figure out how to do a podcast so maybe I’ll have that set up sometime this week.

Sermon WBC (Click this)

Its been a long time since I updated the site. A chance to reflect and get certain things in order, much needed and long overdue. Ive been home for a little over 24 hours…refreshing, rejuvenating and challenging. One of my extended family members asked when I’ll be coming back for good. If you had asked me that question on Friday I would have said not any time soon. After spending time with my niece…

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I go back and read a lot of my entries and the only reason Im even doing an entry tonight is to to remind myself of the title. I need to think less & pray more.

It never ceases to amaze me when guys in my house walk up to me and say “I know people dont think you work a program because you dont go to meetings but i’ve never meet someone who lives it as much as you do.” I just shrug my shoulders and say thanks but it reminded me of an entry from a June of this year…

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“God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need- to make you the person you were meant to be.” Grace

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When I first heard this song…didnt like it. At the time I had less than 60 days sober and one of my first memories of sobriety is my sister doing hand motions, bouncing around the car, putting this song on repeat, while her husband just smiled. It was at that point I realized my life had changed forever. How? Instead of demanding I get my way (telling her to change the song) or tuning out…I stopped and listened.

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I had my grandmothers funeral today and needless to say I am emotionally drained. There is so much going on in life that my head is literally sore/throbbing. Earlier this week my buddy Ivy wrote this. While it has nothing to do with todays events it does relate to the entry I wrote about what happens when my head spins about women.

When Ivy texted me the other day to ask how I was doing I explained whats been going on in my life concerning women. She reminded me to re-read her blog. The first time I read it all I focused on was the part about not giving away the keys to my heart. I neglected all the other stuff she wrote…such a typical alcoholic.

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Do you realize how many steps we have to take before we actually commit an act (like going out) ? First you have to let the thought enter your head (this happens to all of us), then you have to nurture the thought a bit, then you start romancing the idea or visualizing the completed act, then you have to start planning where, when and how to accomplish it, then you have to make the purchase and only then can you actually use the product and go out. That’s obviously a lot of thought, work and effort involved to commit the act. What we have to realize is that the first one or two steps in the process are quite normal for all of us but they are huge red flags.

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My grandmas funeral is on Sunday. I think that yesterdays sorta angry entry is kind of tied into the raw emotions that I am going through. I have written none stop about my grandma and how it is affecting me and I am not going to stop. This forum for me to get out my feelings is very therapeutic.

I realize that the last week really hasn’t had anything concerning sobriety other than giving all the credit to God. Next to trusting in Him to help me get through this difficult time I have awesome family & friends, been working out and just being honest about how I am feeling has gone a long way.

The song above is where I am at tonight. I miss my grandma. It sucks that its gonna be a while before I see her in heaven. Until that time comes, Im gonna keep doing what I have been doing for the last 1088 days…staying sober, being a servant, trusting in the Lord and making the best of each day.

So my dad read my entry and told me to take it off. He said that I am too into the moment to post what I had originally wrote. Long story short, Ive been asked to not work with of my guys who is in the state system because I am a Christian. They dont want “religion” to affect his treatment. If you want the uncensored version, email me and I’ll be glad to send it. With that said here is the last two paragraphs of what I wrote….

Well here it is for anyone to read. I will not and will never take any credit for my sobriety. All the glory is because of my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. That’s it. Honestly I am SICK AND TIRED of trying to not step on toes. If you don’t believe that there is a God, I am sorry but I do.

I am not a follower of any religion. I do not have any ulterior motives. I will not bow down to the secular view of what the answers are. What I am…. I am a follower of Christ. I will stand up and proudly say that I am a Christian. To me Christianity isn’t a “religion” it is accepting that my salvation is only possible because God sent His only Son to die on a cross so that I may live. If you don’t agree…too bad.