You’re growing. You’ve got this. Cheers.

If you see me sitting
Head down
Eye’s avoiding contact
Like they holy men
Avoid conviction.
Nothing is wrong.
Hang up the phone.
Put down the band-aids.
Step away from the panic button.
Let’s not make emergencies
Out of mole holes, like
We do sometimes.
Don’t worry.

I’m just brainstorming escape plans.

I’ve been doing it for years.

Finally got a handle
On finding the best ways
Out of these dead ends
We work ourselves into.

Motion is non-negotiable.
But forward is a choice.

Back there,
I’m sorry you caught me
Chasing my tailspin.
I never meant to
Act so tornado
Around your wind chime
Of wrecking balls.

I hope I didn’t break anything
That didn’t need to be broken.

We both know
I do sometimes, break things
That didn’t need to be broken.

We both know
My shape, remember?
I am dust.

I am spit shine
In a room full of baptism

I am hoping to live
A life worth risking

This life is not
The fucking tragedy
We paint it out
To be
Sometimes

There’s an art
To getting better.
I’m getting better
At this art.

No longer grinding my
Legs down to the bone
Racing to keep up
With someone else’s
Idea of me.

Ideas too small.

Holy men will always try
To appeal to angel in me.
But a halo,
When placed to roughly
Onto the head of a child,
Will always become a collar.
And I’m not interested in your chains.
We were both meant for freedom, remember?

I’ve always known this.
Like in Kindergarten,
Career-day, my teacher
Told me I could grow up
To be anything I wanted

I told her I wanted to be a rocket ship.

She laughed and lovingly told me that
I meant I wanted to be an astronaut

I said no
I meant that I wanted to be a rocket ship.

I already know where my stars are.
I’m aimed for them.
I don’t need to be carried there.
I’ve inherited a whole lot
Of my mother’s jet fuel and
I plan to shoot
Through the back of the moon.

Certain that gravity is a conspiracy.
I intend on finding out what
We’re being held down from.

When I get there,
When I do,
I’ll send for you
A message written
On a solar flare, floating
In a bottle-shaped satellite
Down the Milky Way

When you receive it,
It will read:
Thank you for teaching me to
No longer waste time building
Lungs that breathe placebo.

I hope someday
You will learn it
Back from me.

I am up here for you.
If you should ever
Need reminding

Write my name on the wind.
Blow your horns.
I will hear them.

I am coming home.